man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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