As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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