So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My pussy is not your playground.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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