i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
