Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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