I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
