all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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