like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
