At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
