Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I understand Curling. That high.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
