i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
