If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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