I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
