We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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