You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
