Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
