found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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