oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
a search helicopter?!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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