But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
