She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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