so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Small penises have feelings too.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
