Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
