Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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