If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
