no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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