What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
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I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
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Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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