butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
