My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Randomize
