She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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