They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
