community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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