So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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