Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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