i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so let's talk penis.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
