yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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