I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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