that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize