All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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