I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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