hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
