Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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