WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
