what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
