Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
