i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
