If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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