return my video game
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
