So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
