Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Actions speak louder than pants.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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