when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
