her vagine was all disorganized.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
