I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
