Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize