I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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