yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
