whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
