She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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