I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
