i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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