I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
