Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
