Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I look better un-naked...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Randomize
