Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
