He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
