hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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