: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize