I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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