She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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