she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize